The Dance of Connection: How to Talk to Someone When You're Mad, Hurt, Scared, Frustrated, Insulted, Betrayed, or Desperate (Paperback)
Bestselling author Harriet Lerner focuses on the challenge and the importance of being able to express one's "authentic voice" in intimate relationships.The key problem in relationships, particularly over time, is that people begin to lose their voice. Despite decades of assertiveness training and lots of good advice about communicating with clarity, timing, and tact, women and men find that their greatest complaints in marriage and other intimate relationships are that they are not being heard, that they cannot affect the other person, that fights go nowhere, that conflict brings only pain. Although an intimate, long-term relationship offers the greatest possibilities for knowing the other person and being known, these relationships are also fertile ground for silence and frustration when it comes to articulating a true self. And yet giving voice to this self is at the center of having both a relationship and a self. Much as she did in THE MOTHER DANCE, Lerner will approach this rich subject with tales from her personal life and clinical work, inspiring and teaching readers to speak their own truths to the most important people in their lives.
Harriet Lerner, Ph.D., is one of our nation’s most loved and respected relationship experts. Renowned for her work on the psychology of women and family relationships, she served as a staff psychologist at the Menninger Clinic for more than two decades. A distinguished lecturer, workshop leader, and psychotherapist, she is the author of The Dance of Anger and other bestselling books. She is also, with her sister, an award-winning children's book writer. She and her husband are therapists in Lawrence, Kansas, and have two sons.
“The Dance of Connection can save your marriage, a friendship, and your relationship with your mother, father, sister, brother--even your boss. Brimming with practical advice, sharp wit, extraordinary knowledge, deep caring.” — Edward M. Hallowell, M.D.
“Lerner rescues us from the swamps and quicksands of difficult relationships with her unique clarity and profound intelligence. This book is for everyone.” — Janis Abrahms Spring, Ph.D., author of After the Affair
“Lerner does a remarkable job teaching us new steps in the complicated, mysterious, painful and beautiful dance that we call family life.” — Mary Pipher, Ph.D.
"I love Hariet Lerner's work." — -Anne Lamott, author of Traveling Mercies
“Lerner’s mass appeal results in…accessible and well-organized work that…belongs in all libraries Highly recommended.” — Library Journal