I Want This to Work: An Inclusive Guide to Navigating the Most Difficult Relationship Issues We Face in the Modern Age (Hardcover)
“Elizabeth Earnshaw’s gentle guidance will help any type of couple, whether they are dealing with small day-to-day problems or long-standing conflicts. She takes an accessible approach to couples therapy on the page, making these relationship tools feel easy—and even fun.”
—Lori Gottlieb, LMFT, New York Times bestselling author of Maybe You Should Talk to Someone
A contemporary, culturally inclusive, and easy-to-digest relationship book for the modern age
Today’s generation is changing the rules about committed relationships—and looking to create more meaning within their lives. We are more selective before getting married, with more diverse families and family structures, and we’ve seen a whopping 18 percent drop in divorce rates. In this new environment, what couples need more than ever are effective, flexible tools to communicate, navigate hard times, and create deeper connections with their partners.
Elizabeth Earnshaw is here to help. The renowned Gottman therapist, founder of A Better Life Therapy, and influential Instagram therapist behind @lizlistens has helped to transform countless relationships. With I Want This to Work, she presents for today’s generation the most effective and proven steps for relationship success.
“We’re in a cultural moment,” she says, “where people are hungry to absorb the principles for healthy relationships. This book answers that call.”
Here, couples will learn how to work with the three challenges they must tackle to repair and strengthen their relationships: conflict, healing, and connection. They’ll learn fundamental principles including:
· Why it’s not working
· Creating space that makes it safe to connect
· How to navigate hot conversations
· The five-part relationship system
· Busting the romantic notion that our better half “completes” us
· Growing up and growing out—how both your early years and the social connections you make as an adult influence your relational beliefs, feelings, and patterns
In a supportive and relatable voice, Elizabeth simplifies complex concepts and provides core insights, exercises, and reflections to take these tested principles from the page and into real life.
Culturally tuned in, LGBTQIA+ friendly, and written for both married and unmarried couples, this book brings us an accessible guide to relationship healing and creating enduring intimacy.
“This book is an essential guide for couples who desire to build vital relationship skills, particularly during challenging moments. The tools for growth and learning are written in a warm and no-nonsense manner. I Want This to Work can be used as a stand-alone resource or in tandem with therapy. The book will help couples gain a unique understanding of how to talk about and work through hard things.” —Nedra Tawwab, LCSW, therapist and New York Times bestselling author of Set Boundaries, Find Peace
“I Want This to Work does a beautiful job of exploring the many issues the modern-day couple faces, while normalizing the reader’s experience by offering examples of couples working through similar challenges. A necessary read for anyone wanting to improve the quality of their relationships.” —Vienna Pharaon, LMFT, owner of Mindful Marriage & Family Therapy, founder of @mindfulmft, and relationship expert at Motherly
“Elizabeth’s work is an invaluable source of support and wisdom for any and all humans looking to explore themselves in their relationships.” —Lisa Olivera, LMFT, therapist, author of Already Enough, and founder of @_lisaolivera
“I love everything about this book. Elizabeth infused every chapter with a kind of empathy that allowed me as the reader to really look at and want to work on changing my relationally disconnecting behaviors.” —Silvy Khoucasian, relationship coach and writer
“Drawing on her extensive experience as a couples therapist, Elizabeth Earnshaw shares her knowledge of the science that underlies successful relationships and provides thoughtful insights for couples as well as helpful suggestions for conversations and changes. I believe this book offers real help to those couples who ‘want this to work.’” —Don Cole, DMin, clinical director of The Gottman Institute
“Absolutely fantastic! This book is a must read for anyone who is currently in a relationship. It doesn’t matter if you just started a relationship or have been married for 40 years, the information is invaluable!” —Sara Kuburic, existential therapist, writer, and founder of @millennial.therapist